blessing in disguise

I am not the best kind of person there is to mix with,
neither am I the perfect kind of girl.
Somewhat, I'm not even the girl close to perfect. 
But like every other girl, I strive for perfection in some form.

Maybe 18's the age they all claim you're still young to make decisions for yourself, or maybe in every parents eye you're still the little girl.

I've always wanted to be different. I was born with an elder brother and two younger brother, hence the only girl. I've been protected and sheltered by my parents for 18 years, probably because of that, they kind of protected me from all the "bad people" there is in the world. I do dislike them at times, I do get frustrated with them, but deep down, I do love them. 18 years having such amazing parents, what's there not to love. Well, if you met my family, it wouldn't seem like the perfect family, infact, we are broken, we have individual issues with each other at times, but broken pieces are the ones that got us together. I've yelled, screamed, cried and disobeyed them, but isn't that what growing up does to you? Still, they love me despite me being such a mess. 18 years, and it feels like I'm finally growing up. If you have ever gone for a dinner date with me or started hanging out late with me, you'd know that my parents would be one of the most over-protective people there is in the world. I used to hate them, hate them so much for being such an ass, I thought age came with freedom, but it was maturity that came with freedom. Rebelling to everything, wanting to try to gain my "nightlife" freedom because I was legal to. I remember how I used to fight with her the moment I turned legal, trying to tell her about the law, but it makes me feel like a let down because, I finally realized what the term of love is from them. Protecting me for 18 years, and suddenly I'm stepping out and immediately wanting to try something I've known nothing about and something they know so much of, it made me realized that, how do you stop protecting someone so quickly when you protected her since her first breath, for 18 years. 

Everyone has done something in their lives that would make someone else disappointed in their decisions. I've had a fair share of that. Because I hated how my parents were over-protective over my life, I lied to prevent nags and scoldings when I wanted to do something I knew they would forbid. Somehow, every single time my parents find out about something I've hidden from them, it makes me realize so much more about  what they expect out of me. I love them, I honestly do. I would do anything in the world, just to please them, even if it's the hardest thing to do. They made me realize how afraid they are to see me grow each year, because it's going to be another year lesser to watch over me.

I'm the girl who loves shopping, wants to date a guy, get pampered, it food all day, get adventurous, gain experience of life and have my parents to watch my back still. Like what Francis always say, I'd never become a rebel in life because it just isn't me, but maybe just for the experience.

I'm thankful, for having such great parents despite the over-protective part. Blessed enough to have them despite the restrictions that they give.

I don't know if you would every see this,
but I love you mummy & daddy.

xoxo.