It's funny how when something emotional happens in your life, you'd be able to go on and on about it, telling people what went wrong by going in circles about the situation but never wanting to go into the situation to try solving it. Subsequently you feel like you've been running around your own circle and suddenly you get really tired of it, feeling like you were making everyone feel like you're simply gaining their attention by telling them what went wrong and repeating the story over and over again just that each time it's in different tone and different words, or maybe different emotions too.
I've been relatively fine, fine because it's one heck of a new season to be entering, but again, I've been running around the same issue but not touching it.
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Sometimes, I find myself contradicting what I talk about, telling someone one thing and refusing to act upon what I told them when what I needed most was to tell myself the exact same thing - ironic.
Okay im gonna be darn girly here and do that mini rage:
I specifically can't stand certain people, it's like as though they tell you something really holy but then the thing is the bible clearly states the opposite of what they tell you, it's like why on earth are you doing this, and then at the same time they leave you to die just because you're not good enough for them, like you're doing nothing good for them in their lives - to put it in a much defined term: it's like you're being a burden to their growth in Christ or something and cause of that, they leave you when it's the point of time you need them most, just because you're not on the same "Holy" level as them and they are not responsible for your life in Christ means they don't bother, it's like saying "you're a christian, you're saved, but now your dragging my growth down so I'm not gonna bother any longer about you" i am like what the fuck seriously. And what's the worst part is that, since they told you that so you realized you're fucking burdening her, you've to look for your own sort of new friends right? the best part about this fucking situation is when you told her who you were gonna look for and what you planned to do about it but she stomps in and join that group of people first before you do, it's like fucking messed up la.
ok soooo girly, but ugh quite on rage mode now.
oh and here's another:
don't expect me to do what I am supposed to do when you were never there for me, as much as I respect you for, you have to learn what it means to start putting priorities in your life, I don't care how fucking busy you are, but I learnt that as much as I prioritized you, you're not doing the same, and I don't wanna be the fucking last thing you remember and suddenly ask me out after a couple of months, it's not fucking fair with the way you treat me, so as much as you wanna see something happen in my life, please don't expect anything when you were never ever there for me when you asked me to do something insanely ridiculous. so fuck you.
rage post la.
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