Yes, I admit I'm really clingy, sometimes, or most of time, and the fact that I talk a lot or I'm relatively weird sometimes. But he loves me still, and I know he does.
I've never felt as though someone could love me, that much. I've never thought anyone would have allowed me to be myself, frankly, I'm weird most of the time, and I'm spoilt in the various of ways, and I'm someone that's not easy to get along with.
I admit I'm socially selective and I get hurt really easily because I get extremely sensitive. I know I would always deny it but deep down, I know I am. I know I can be the worst person to hold a conversation with, or I can bore you with my sad stories about life, but I can be really open about life too.
The moment you get to know me and I find something special about you and I got a good feeling about the relationship we are gonna have, I would speak my mind out, I'd tell you things about me that you could never guess.
And that's me.
I get really quiet, I cry for the smallest reason, I get angry and swallow it down, I get extremely bitchy if we go on the wrong foot, I zone out when you stop talking, I like talking about what you're doing and I like probing into your life, I talk a lot when you're something, I laugh at the weirdest reasons even if you don't find it funny, I can be myself if you stay yourself when you're with me.
But, with B, well, I don't swallow when I get angry, I spill it out after processing for an hour or two. I get up with my eyes closed to toast a bread for him in the wee hours. I do the most unusual/unexpected of myself, willingly. I learn how to love myself, and believe that I'm something.
Though he tells me, "you're such work". I know he loves me, I know he still appreciates the smallest things I do. I know he still cares and wouldn't stop loving me even though I'm such a mess sometimes, or like he says most of the time.
I've never thought I'd have met a guy that would have danced with me when my favorite song starts playing on the radio, simply jamming in the craziest ways on the couch while the song shuffles on iTunes.
I never thought that I could have deserved a guy like him, I thought he was out of my league. Come on, good looking, utterly charming, smirking with words, knowing how to perk a girl up, staying by her while she has cramps - tell me, how is he not the best boyfriend one could ask for?
When I was at my lowest, all he did was sit there and hug me tight. And he told me it will all be alright. And everytime he tells me it's going to be okay, it assured me and I know it's going to be okay because B believes in it, and I would try to catch that glimpse of hope in it too.
I might be a mess, I might be one of the hardest person to deal with, not the most domesticated girl, very spoilt, a big shopperholic, too bitchy sometimes, the biggest hypocrite, utterly stubborn and very very annoying. But I can be really really nice. Or at least I try to be.... I would love you, I'd love you just the way you love me with alittle more. And that's why I love you B. Somehow, your utterly mean talks, makes me love you more, you make me a better person, you help me turn into someone I never thought I'd have became. You taught me what tough love meant, and you... Made me learn what it means to love someone whole heartedly.
I can't tell you how special he is to me, cause you might want him too haha (I'm kidding), but really, I can't find the right words to say what I really feel like when I'm around him, magic, maybe?
I actually never thought I'd have loved someone else so much, I actually thought no one was going to love me with his entire self.
I love you B, thank you for being the best.
No comments:
Post a Comment