imagine this.

Well, it's tomorrow, but nooooooo. My 14days of Valentine is over.

Imagine this: 

You met the sweetheart(Austin) of your life, one day, you're at his house chilling like the usual, his mom is making dinner and his dad is reading the papers while you're watching some scary show on television and leaning over on his shoulder grabbing a cushion covering up half your face, his sister joins you guys and suddenly his mom calls all of you over to the table because dinner's done, you guys starts talking about your day and the usual stuff, after dinner, his mom serves all of you brownie with ice cream, because you're not much of a sweet tooth you share a plate of brownie with Austin back at the sofa, switching the channels to watch the perfect show, suddenly his sister pulls out her guitar and starts playing random songs she wrote, you go back to the kitchen to do the dishes with his mom and after you're doing you go back to the couch, then suddenly his sister says "this song is for you!" and she starts singing and strumming her guitar, then Austin sudden goes on the floor with one knee infront of you, pulling out a box from his red checkered shirt and opens it up, it was the big diamond ring shaped as a heart, the one you always wanted and told him about the first time you saw that ring on the first date with him, suddenly, he pops the question "Since the day I met you, I knew you were special, the one I always wanted to put this ring on, I want to explore a whole different part of life with you, so I'm asking you, would you marry me?" Your hands are covering your mouth because of how shock you are, you mumble "yes" and start nodding your head, you're in tears because you didn't see it coming and you're speechless cause you're overjoyed. The simplest way became the most romantic way to you. He stood up and you got up from the couch and he gave you a really big hug. His family's cheering and clapping, it was the best day. Ever. 

Omg, hahaha what did I just do. Okay, I kinda got the idea from some instagrammer, but I twist the story quite abit, Wellllllll i'm dying to meet this guy named Austin, I think there's this thing that's sooo special about him, as in I don't wanna date him honestly, I just wanna know him, to me, he's really interesting, like he gives me the vibe where he is the hard to figure but there's so much to want to know about. Haha, maybe the type of guy that I like hanging out with. The thing is, I think it's really hard to find any form of communication with him, like...... I'm such a terrible person, why would he wanna be friends with me. I'm sure there's much prettier, better girls to know about than to waste his time talking to me, but ah, he's just mentally challenging. 

Some of you may know who I'm talking about, well good luck figuring it out, he's just this really special guy that I hope I'd ever come across to know about. Haha.

NO JUDGING ME. 

hahaha, i'm serious, the story was just cute, I had to retype it all.

marching parade.

technically, that's in one day's time, but i'm preparing my goodbyes for February already.

Well, February's coming to an end, it's soon, and I promise you after this there would be no more emotional post. I am kinda getting irritated with myself too, with all the sort of emotional issues, but today I found out that the douchebag that made me feel like that unfollowed me on twitter, ha ha. Who's the one with issues here man.

I hate when people say "It's not like you can't find another guy, I bet the other guy you find in the future would make you feel like a princess". I'd usually be all self absorbed and so and say "yeah line, you can find any other guy in the world, remember how he would tell you that people would fall in love with you so easily, he's not the only guy on earth, he's a douchebag, probably not even qualified to be called a man."

I hate you so much, so much for leaving me like this, for killing my soul and making me lose my sanity all over again, I hate you so much for wanting me to be quiet over this whole matter, for wanting me to not tell anyone what happened because you're so bloody afraid everyone would know who you are. Damn it, if you were so cautious about "affecting your damn impression to others" then why the fuck did you do this to me, why the fuck did you have to tell me you loved me. fuck you, fuck you. I hate you so much. I tried to hold all this fucking emotions in, do you know because you didn't want others to know, I had to cry in my fucking room all alone at night? to try to not break infront of my closest friends because I was so afraid how I'd ruin you fucking impression to them. well, fuck your damn impression, cause you're the biggest douchebag  i have ever came across with. I can't believe I ever dated a guy like you, I can't believe we even went out. When my bestfriend told me how much she didn't like you, I still loved you. When my bestfriend told me it was gonna be the worst choice I made if I went out with you on Valentine, I still did, because I thought you were different, but guess what, you are you, and you never will change, and never will I believe another word you say nor any other thing you do. I hate the fact that my closest friends have to be my most distant friends now because all we have are just mutual friends, I hate how the word mutual has to be there. I had enough, enough from feeling everything this way. I can't believe your only excuse of telling me you loved me was because "they were how I felt at the moment", do you know how selfish you are, how self centered you were to make me think that you really meant it when you didn't? So now all you can do is say sorry when I have to go through an emotional rollercoaster all over again, really? you tore me apart when I was already broken, when I was already lying on the floor and half way dying because of how he killed me, now you? Out of every guy I dated, I never thought you'd have done this to me. Especially you. When I started to go back on my feet, you had to push me down and step all over me, when I wanted to learn what it took for me to have faith again, you made me lose every glimpse of faith.
I hate you, I hate you so much for causing me to feel this way. I don't really bother on letting this go on virtual space because you wanted me to keep this stupid feeling to myself cause I can't tell anyone, well technically, you can take it as no one reads my blog and i'm only telling my blog how i feel, sorry if i fucking offend you or disrespect you in this post, or even make it really obvious to whom i am referring to, but i'm a girl and asking a girl to keep all this emotions to herself on what someone did to her on her birthday, well that's bullshit.

floats.

It's been quite awhile since I posted something up well, today's a really really weird day, it's like having thoughts in my mind but I don't know how to describe any of them out. Weird huh.

-

Have you ever felt like, you were sinking too fast because reality hit you too hard, like it was too hard for anything to be absorbed in?
Honestly, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, with the fast paced lifestyle and so. I kinda regret not accepting the choice of going abroad or to continue studies here. I wasted one year, one year, one entire year filled with 365 days doing nothing but traveling, eating, sleep, shopping and top of all, wasting money & time. Looking back, I feel really pathetic, but I don't regret a thing actually. I'm just regretting the entire month of February.

Figuring things out just seems so hard, it's like trying to solve the puzzle when there's plenty of missing pieces to it. I have all my questions on set, but I'm lack of answers. Well, again they told me this was what I had to face in life, so suck it up line.

blessing in disguise.

it's painful to know the truth, but it's better than being lied forever.
liar liar you're the liar, i'll watch you burn while i play with fire.

it's been a cruel cruel week, torturous, thank god for friends with steamboat to make my appetite back, thank god for helping me going on my feign diet when it never started, thank god that I was able to go back to sleep instead of the usual 2 hours.

I hate you, i swear it's true.

-

Yup, had dinner with my lovely girls today, (and you guys must be thinking..... wow you got alot of girls huh) yeah it's true, I do. but it's mainly three or four groups of love. Hehe, today's with Ash, Fio, Sofia, Cheryl and Verny!
It's weird cause I can't post the picture up, but yes i love you guys .

faith, hope.

Probably the mood to post it all out's gone. 

I've so many questions but so little answer, but most importantly is, why did you have to do this to me.
Why did the both of you have to do this to me.
I'm struggling, i'm struggling, struggling so hard I can hardly gasp for air. I've no idea what to feel right now, confused and lost are probably the weirdest things to feel, I haven't slept for nights and my body feels as though it's gonna collapse any time, but I can't even close my eyes for a second because the nightmare runs through my mind like it all happened a second ago.

I don't want to blame you, I don't wish to say a word about it, but it's killing me, it's killing me so deeply inside. I hate you for doing all this to me, i hate you so much because all you go through is the guilt and feeling like you have to repent about it, but me? I've to realize that I actually did fall back in love, I have to realize that this isn't a fairytale anymore because I don't have you any longer, I have to realize that we ain't friends anymore because of this crappy mistake. I have to stop missing you and wishing you were right by my side. Why on earth would I even want you by my side after all this nonsense that has happened? Why.

As good as you make me feel, I wanted to make you feel better, better than your fairytale, better than your masquerade's play, i wanted to be that someone to you to make you feel lifted,
but you are gone.
gone.

sickening, reality's filled with cruelty.

I thought today was something I'd have loved,
I enjoyed my 18th birthday I definitely did, but you had to ruin it, but I appreciated you for ruining it past 12 midnight, I'm confused, and I'm at lost for words.

@ ohmyline.tumblr.com

Happy 14th of February, it's Valentine's day, so tweet me on your plans for the day!
Hehe, i'm actually planning to go crashing on dates tonight, soo let me know your plans lovelies! :)

Happy birthday liney too! <3 <3
Thank you for all your wishes guys.

hohoho, it's 13th of February.

It's been one heck of a month, but who cares, I'm 18th in 3minutes!
It's been a great birthday eve or pre valentine that I've celebrate today, it's been one of the best, no doubt, but that tinge in my heart just tells me it's not enough, this isn't what I wanted, eighteen? I mean, that's too soon, that's a whole bunch of your life that's gonna change. Almost half of what you want, you do things legally, you make choices like..... ha, but it's a whole different, thing.

I'm not ready, but well.

Let's celebrate 14 days of Valentine, it ends 28th of February. :) love you all.

it just hit 12 midnight, thank you everyone for being such beautiful blessings.

the very last.

poof, it's two days!

okay how did you spend your third day of the new year!
mine was typically interesting this year, I spent it at a park taking photos. Hahah, at mandai! It was rather weird though.

good day, good bye.

HappyCNY #day2!

Well, I didn't do anything particularly special today, only visited my dad's place and nothing else!

Hehehe,

DAY 1.

DAY 2.

That's about it for the day guys, see you tomorrow, xoxo liney!