you know...... me? (part 1)

Hahahaha, it took me quite awhile to realize what I like and dislike, and it took me even longer to realized I'm quite a flicker minded person/ indecisive or rather, I am really picky in terms of food, clothes (especially the waking up to "I don't know what to wear :(" feeling, like who feels me man). Realizing that I am really stubborn plays a big part to this nonsense too, it makes me wonder how people around me tolerates with what I subconsciously put them through.

Everyone has been doing this "20facts about me" on instagram, so I decided to do one here, but cooler, so 50! presumably that hardly know anything about me.

To start off,

#1 I have a signature pose in my photos.
I have never realized I had this signature pose till people started using this poseto imitate me, hahaha, if you don't believe, then go to my instagram to look at it man, I never realized I had such a standard pose to my photos.

#2 I have a crazy obsession with Victoria Secrets things.
 Another obsession that I never realized till last year, I've two shelves of body mist and perfumes dedicated to just Victoria Secret's body mist/ perfumes/ body lotion and the list goes on. I still remember my trip to America the end of last year, I came back with 3 bags worth of items from Victoria Secrets.

#3 Japanese Cuisine or Sandwiches over any kind of food anytime!
I could eat Japanese food all day long, but I have never been to Japan, I LOVE Sushi and I can never get sick of it, it's just toooo good, if the boyfriend and I run out of places to eat, we'd head to any place that serves anything Jap, (hahahah, I'm glad he hasn't gotten sick of Jap yet!).

#4 I am a Introvert.
If you ever read any of my "emo" post the last time, I wrote something about socializing alot but I became.... a very bad introvert cause I dislike starting conversations, but I smile alot to strangers (yes I know im quite weird). So if you ever make a conversation with me, pardon me starting off with a really dead-tone, it's not that I don't wanna talk it's cause I take awhile to dare to make convesations.

#5 One of my little introvert moments to - Star-Gazing.
Introverts spend their time alone, most of the time! I used to star gaze all the time because I used to have this empty space outside my room where I'd climb out just to star gaze back when I was at my old place at Changi! Now I live next to the CTE and it's really bright to spot any stars. Oh and if you never knew, if you think there's no stars in the skies, just stare for awhile and count to 20, you'd see stars appearing infront of you if you actually focus on the sky.

#6 Sucker at money saving cause Shopping has became a daily habit especially since that my school's in town.
 I love shopping but I love shopping alone, I am not the kind of girl who calls up her girlfriends to shop along with cause I feel like I'm quite a burden in shopping as I could spend 2hours and more in the same store and I get uncomfortable if the person accompanying me to shop doesn't try on clothes or nothing attracts her in the store!

#7 I'd pick Buttermilk-Waffles w/ B&J's Cookie Dough Icecream over pancakes anytime.
I could skip my meals the entire day and still eat breakfast food, I love buttermilk waffles without a doubt man, omg with B&J's Cookie Dough Icecream on it, yummmmmz.

#8 You can find me slogging my life at Awfully Chocolate for 72 hours every month.
Yes I sold my life to Awfully Chocolate, ha im kidding! I enjoy working there actually, just that I don't really like having to commit 72 hours otherwise they screw up your pay! I really hate that fact :(, but who doesn't agree that Awfully Chocolate hires bubbly girls, they are actually really friendly too.

#9 When I head out, you'd find me in either Yellow, Navy, Wine, Pink or FLORAL prints.
To whomever, you could find me in the 4 colors stated most of the time, but recently I started getting off with Mint, black and white hahaha, but most of the time you'd see me in just floral prints cause my cupboard looks like a garden because of the amount of floral printed clothings I own.

#10 I'm 18 and a Valentine baby!
If you never knew, my birthday falls on 14 February, that makes me a Valentine baby!

#11 Such a girl but a Perfume and Lipstick would be necessities in my bag whenever I head out.
There ought to be necessities you carry with you everyday! Mine's a to-go perfume or lipstick! One day I'd make a post of "What's in my bag"

#12 I have a huge passion for Little kids/babies
I could play with a kid for as long as I can as long as they are below 7! I wanted to take up early childhood studies once, but my parents didn't approve as you know, most Singapore childcare/ kindergarten don't pay well, so they didn't encourage the fact where I wanted to do early childhood studies.

#13 I am quite a big fan of Taylor Swift but Westlife, Sara.B and Jayesslee are in the list too!
To make a easier summary, songs with meaningful lyrics are the ones which captivates me or whomever that composes a good song, thumbs up for them man.

#14 I'm a television addict, I could list my favorite shows and go on forever, but if I had to pick 2 it would be 90210 and Grey's Anatomy cause it's just too good.
But honestly the list could go on and on, pretty little liars, hawai five-o, CSI, switch at birth, how I met your mother, new girl, aye the list goes on as long as I have Starworld, AXN and WarnerTv to keep me entertained!

#15 I go crazy over Vintage and Antiques
If you know me well enough, you'd actually realize that anything golden and rusted that is not from the current era would amuse me and I'd never fail to dare to splurge on them. Basically if you want to get me a gift and know that I'd appreciate, this two would definitely work, hahahaha.

#16 I was born with ASD and VSD
If you've no idea what is that, ASD - Atrial Septal Defect and VSD - Ventricular Septal Defect. In simpler terms, it just means you've a hole in your heart, but I had two, haha but it's closed up already, so I am all gooooooooood.

#17 I never used any Facial products till I was 17.
If you ask me if I use a toner and so now, i'd still say no, it's just a facial wash, I know my skin might rot afew years down if I don't take care of it now, but you see, I was born with quite a good complexion I think! Hahahaha, and somewhat I get scared of using facial products cause I used once when my face had good complexion and it started giving me alittle bit of pimples, so I don't emphasis much on facial products, but I'd soon cause sometimes make up clogs my pores, especially when my period comes and I'm under the hot sun with make up.

#18 Most of make up are from Maybelline
 I could probably be their ambassador based on the amount of products I own from them, my current two favorite would be the Rock the rocket mascara and their dream matte compact powder! But yeah, eyeliner, foundation, pressed powder, blusher are all from them toooooo.

 #19 I used to own a Silky Terrier named Oscar!
He was the cutest dog because he was blind and whenever I cried, he would have bite the blanket to me or gave me his soft toy or something and sat there just to accompany me, but he passed away when I was having Math class one day and I'd always remember that day.

 #20 I love to Dance
It's one of those methods where people "drink to their minds off things", well dancing helps in that way, I'd end up kind of sobbing to myself in some sense but it takes things off my mind and it really helps. I started dancing ballet when I was really little and stopped at 9, but I started dancing again at the age of 16 till now! :) I do Jazz, lyrical and contemp, but i'm gonna start off with Salsa or Ballroom next!

#21 I get really tired if I don't sleep for  8 hours.
I would be really really grumpy throughout the day and easily agitated if I don't get a good 8 hours of sleep. anything lesser than that would make me feel horrifying and I would feel like as though I wouldn't be able to get anything done because of my lack of sleep, and i believe that sleep is really important ok.

#22 I have a bad addiction to Starbucks and Smoothie King It's so good I don't know how to stop man. It's like if there's no smoothie king nearby then I'd grab my starbucksssss. My to-go's usually a Vanilla Latte with Soymilk base at Starbucks and Angel's Food at Smoothie King!

#23 I can't go to bed without a Bolster
Hahaha, okay this is a very bad habit, but I can't go to bed without curling up and hugging a bolster, not forgetting my comfy comforter, so when I go overseas I'd toss and turn but eventually I'd find something to hug cause I can't go to bed without something to hug.

#24 My morning routine starts off with a Cup of water.
I'm so used to it that I can't consume any other liquid or food other than a cup of water

#25 I like my name Winiline.
I never liked it cause people would often make fun of it, but ha so long suckers, I've a unique name and if your name is as common as Jane then you aren't special like me. (ok im kidding guys)!




I'd continue another time!
Goodnight, x! 

you know that i'd carry you.

"When the vision you have gets blurry
You don't have to worry, I'll be your eyes
It's the least I can do, cause when I fell, you pulled me through
So you know that I'll carry you" 

because he's my favorite 5 year old, 

because he's my bestest friend,

because he's my boyfriend, 

because he's mine.

It's going to be a good six months that I have gotten to know this annoying fella, well pretty much it was a crazy messy story, but I'd always say, if you hear my story I'd definitely make sure you go "awwwwww" he's so amazing and I don't know how he does it. 

I could be world's annoying little girl, spoiled and pampered, but he doesn't spoil me at all, and mind you, this guy, has a temper of a 5 year old, he throws tantrum all the time, no kidding. hahahah (i love you still), and it's so amazing to see how he tolerates with me, all my crazy everyday pms moments, yes this 6 months was no joke, alittle like hell for the both of us, but you know..... the past 2months since we got back together has been really great.

Today marks a new adventure, I don't know if it would be a crazy adventure, but I know it's an adventuring I'm definitely looking for, for someone whom's lifestyle's so different from mine but's capable of loving me this much - I go beyond words for this. 

to my little 5 year old,

i'm really blessed, probably spoilt and really kiddy most of the time, but I am thankful to have you around me, hahaha I would never forget the day where I told you "I don't wanna be the girl that you just hold hands and get the I am your girlfriend title, you must ask one okay" and you went like "what the heck, ask?!" but you see, you still asked, hahaha and even though yeah we act like we are together most of the time, but only we both knew the truth where there was no title and basically an unknown boundary between us still, thank you, for respecting little decisions or stupid decisions like that of mine. heeeeeheeeee. I love you baby, i really do :) 

goodnight, I had a great day x  

runs through the veins of my mind.

discovering yourself out of the unknown.

Pretty much all the time I would feel like a failure or someone bond to fail every single one/thing. It's scary to realize how my life seems to be revolving like day-by-day and clearly I'm not used to it. Every single day I'd think of what if I do this and this person gets upset; what if I fail my papers; what if I start hanging out with this person; what if I invest in something worth nothing. Doesn't it feel like the scariest thing ever. Somehow, I find myself back at the same spot everytime something drastic happens. I end up running back to my perplexed feeling of home but I know there's no home but hell in me. Today I asked myself, what if I was just... equally messed up as how I was before, what if the thought of the past comes back to haunt me all over again, what if I became nothing but vicious and plain deceiving to others, because I really really hate the thought of it. Come to think of it now, I feel as though I am losing it again. I'm not used to it, really.
I don't want to be messed up any longer, I dislike being such a hectic mess all the time. I don't like the feeling of not being good enough, I fear to fail you just because I won't be good enough. The thought where I'm just plain self absorbed and keep things to myself scares me. Was this who I have always been or was it just because of one small incident to everyone but seemed so big to me that made me like this. because trust seemed to be the easiest until you ruined it. Probably I'm crazy, well crazy's a usual term on myself, or maybe treating myself like this was the usual thing.

I don't want to live a sad life. I'm pretty much contented, but contented with what? Just because everyone assumes I get everything and probably anything means it's I live that perfect life? I wish.

-

Moments.

because I grew up feeling like it was never alright
just because it never felt right

It's gonna be one-heck of a week, I've been working for hillsong so thumbs up for me, and recently, I got caught in a really sticky situation, and for the first time I consulted my parents about it, for the first time after 18 years, I consulted my parents about it - just because I felt lonely and scared, feeling like I could not do anything about it but to agree into it's terms. I never knew what my parents were capable of doing to help me out of any situations I fell into, I never knew they could be capable enough to help me out, just because they have never ever done so for me. Well, practically speaking I realized that your parents are the only ones that are able to help you out in the toughest and hardest times, the ones that you can count your back on without doubting it.
I love them. Despite the way they have brought me up, despite the way that they have hurt me. It's amazing to see how they can love you when you clearly have the biggest fault. They are amazing. It's as good as saying they saved my life from a lawsuit, I mean, if they never loved me, they wouldn't go to that measure to agree to helping me out. 
-

Ok, it's gonna be a hardcore week ahead especially since I've exams next week, #letsgoline!

yay for favorite shows.

Have you had that favourite show where you have the favourite couple in it?
I think Liam court and Annie willson are the cutest couple ever. I just watched the season finale of it and they ended the show by getting engaged.

Ha, if you ever ask me why I presume they are the cutest couple ever, I guess it's because they present themselves as such inspirational people. The sweetest line he could have ever told her was "I'm the guy that has always hurt her, even if we love each other, i would end up hurting her all over again" sweetest thing ever.

I can't even, I can't even describe how cute they are together, from high school to college, or even just fooling around with each other but never ever together because there would always be someone really bitchy blocking or lying to get towards Liam. SIGH RIGHT, ok I felt extremely frustrated when I watched the show cause I've always wanted them to get together. 

Actually, they are probably the cutest couple that I've seen, but it's all virtually, like this would never happen in reality sort of thing, but still it's like how people say Chuck and Blair are really cute but I have never watched an episode of gossip girl so I have no idea about that. I used to be such a television glue, but ever since school started, television seemed to be the last thing on my list to catch. Again, I can't stand how Liam loves her so much, to fast forward to the end of the story or rather, the current season that I caught, there was this girl inbetween them, and they were supposed to move to Australia together, therefore Annie thought she should have treated herself alittle better and she had to move on, so she was supposed to leave for Paris, but when Liam was about to go to the airport, the girl that was with him asked to read the last chapter on the book she wrote.

It's like HOW CAN YOU NOT FIND THEM CUTE. I find them too cute, like really, probably that's why 90210's my favourite show, the way they ended up being friends. You know, they never liked each other till they graduated into senior year, all of them were bitches towards each other, if you have never watched this show, please just go watch it, you're missing out man. Now, they are more than friends like family, ya know.

Tell me, how can you not think that they are cute, I mean really, just look at the photos and I can go all crazy about it. what am I doing man, I have class tomorrow and it's 0324 and I am talking about 90210. Yes, but still 90210, tooooo goooood. Probably because I spent my entire day typing about a long assignment that has yet to be completed, so this is my break. 

Oh and yes, after he read the book, he realized that she didn't know what type of guy he was, and she has always wanted him, but he never knew it either, so she got on the plane and when it was about to departure, he rushed towards the plane and raced along with it, just in time before she flew, he managed to stop the plane, and when she got down, HE PROPOSED. and yeah, Naomi told their entire gang about the engagement, and now the show ended, it ended. I mean ended, sigh sigh, I'm gonna buy a disc and marathon over it man. 

that's it goodnight guys, I have morning class tomorrow, nooooooo.