@poisedaisy




Friday, March 8, 2013

under the sun

Photo by: Fiona Sng (http://smittenpixels.blogspot.sg/)

All girly things. 

I'm a girl, I get how you feel, and honestly if you're in the zone where you're feeling all: I hate being a girl because I hate emotions, and I hate that guys don't have to go through this shit.
I was about to head to bed, but I had the urge to type this all out because I wouldn't be able to be able to sleep if I didn't type it all out. Ha.

Let's see how I can type this all out,
I've dated, quite a few guys infact, but them being officially my boyfriend? Well, I still can count the numbers with my fingers. I'm no slutty whore, but if you perceive me that way through the first sentence, then well, let's see if you'd continue reading this. I've took quite awhile to come out of my blanket, I take a real long time getting over guys, I been hurt in probably all sort of ways guys have came to hurt girls, I never been dumped but I been left hanging, and trust me, left hanging is torturous too.

I spent hours, days, months crying over this guys, and I know some what you(yes the person reading this) has ever cried for a guy, yes? Whether you got together with him or not, yes you cried for a guy.

Also, I'm guessing you have ever felt this before, go home and cry and just say "what's the point of living when all you do is feel emotional crap"
If I ever had magical powers, the only power I'd want would be to not feel any emotion, or rather not feel any negative emotions. I hate emotions, really. Numbing it all would be what I do best, but again, there's no such thing as not feeling the negative emotions and only feel the positive ones, because if you ever realize, when you numb yourself against the negative emotions; you're also numbing yourself against the positive ones, so you turn out to be pretty cold even to the funniest jokes.


When I was scrolling through this website looking at all sorts of quoted pictures, I was like "omg this", we are all human, probably girls just being girls, so don't think you're the only weird one feeling this way, because I did too, hahaha.



Okay, that's about it, why am I posting all this. I've no idea, but I thought that, you should know that you're never alone, no matter how "big" you think your issue is, it isn't as big as you expected it to be, or if it's this really complicated issue that you are able to spend hours reciting over to friends, you'd feel like "don't ever say you understand because you know no shit about this, you haven't been through it so shut the fuck up", well, I used to think that way, till I met Fio. I guess, no matter how alone you feel, or how you feel no one understands, I'm sure you'd be able to find just one soul that has been through the same shit as you did, I like reading blogs and I've tons of penpals, and recently one of my penpals was telling me about her daily lifestyle now since she's living with her boyfriend, technically i'd say, I love the american lifestyle because it's so different from Asians, or maybe it's just Singaporeans, anything or everything you do, you'd be on stomp, well just saying. haha. 

Pffffft, side track.
anyway, I don't know why I can't sum my words up, or rather, i'm unable to type my thoughts down, it's soo weird. 
#I am shifting houses, so i'm quite busy. that kinda sucks. I'd post up a picture soon? Hahaha. 

Anyhow, get ready for the new adventures. 
I'm gonna post about anything and everything under the sun. 



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So I mentioned about this girl Fio.
She's the sweetest, and it's funny because ever since M left me, I hated making friends, I hated hanging out or keeping up with friendships, but having conversations through text made me feel really comfortable(surprisingly), she's just this warm and friendly girl that I realized is soooo much like me, I am so grateful for her, I can't even describe how thankful I am to have been able to meet her. Though it has been just a short one month, she's been blessing me wonderfully, I mean, how could someone be so similar to you. Despite the age difference, wellllll she still looks pretty young to me, hahaha it's really amazing how i'm able to just talk to her about anything under the sun and she'd be there listening to me and it's great because she's one of the few who i'd think would never get bored listening to me whine and talk all day long. She's such a qt and I'm really glad I met her :) Thinking about it now, I wonder what would have happened if I didn't meet her, because she's been there for me especially through those hectic weeks where I could just talk to her, she's the type of friend who matches to your "criteria friend list" that hardly anyone would have met up with any criteria. She's amazing, and i'm glad I met her. Love you sweetie.


Okay goodbye, or rather.
Laters baby.
(I miss reading fifty shades)

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