marching parade.

technically, that's in one day's time, but i'm preparing my goodbyes for February already.

Well, February's coming to an end, it's soon, and I promise you after this there would be no more emotional post. I am kinda getting irritated with myself too, with all the sort of emotional issues, but today I found out that the douchebag that made me feel like that unfollowed me on twitter, ha ha. Who's the one with issues here man.

I hate when people say "It's not like you can't find another guy, I bet the other guy you find in the future would make you feel like a princess". I'd usually be all self absorbed and so and say "yeah line, you can find any other guy in the world, remember how he would tell you that people would fall in love with you so easily, he's not the only guy on earth, he's a douchebag, probably not even qualified to be called a man."

I hate you so much, so much for leaving me like this, for killing my soul and making me lose my sanity all over again, I hate you so much for wanting me to be quiet over this whole matter, for wanting me to not tell anyone what happened because you're so bloody afraid everyone would know who you are. Damn it, if you were so cautious about "affecting your damn impression to others" then why the fuck did you do this to me, why the fuck did you have to tell me you loved me. fuck you, fuck you. I hate you so much. I tried to hold all this fucking emotions in, do you know because you didn't want others to know, I had to cry in my fucking room all alone at night? to try to not break infront of my closest friends because I was so afraid how I'd ruin you fucking impression to them. well, fuck your damn impression, cause you're the biggest douchebag  i have ever came across with. I can't believe I ever dated a guy like you, I can't believe we even went out. When my bestfriend told me how much she didn't like you, I still loved you. When my bestfriend told me it was gonna be the worst choice I made if I went out with you on Valentine, I still did, because I thought you were different, but guess what, you are you, and you never will change, and never will I believe another word you say nor any other thing you do. I hate the fact that my closest friends have to be my most distant friends now because all we have are just mutual friends, I hate how the word mutual has to be there. I had enough, enough from feeling everything this way. I can't believe your only excuse of telling me you loved me was because "they were how I felt at the moment", do you know how selfish you are, how self centered you were to make me think that you really meant it when you didn't? So now all you can do is say sorry when I have to go through an emotional rollercoaster all over again, really? you tore me apart when I was already broken, when I was already lying on the floor and half way dying because of how he killed me, now you? Out of every guy I dated, I never thought you'd have done this to me. Especially you. When I started to go back on my feet, you had to push me down and step all over me, when I wanted to learn what it took for me to have faith again, you made me lose every glimpse of faith.
I hate you, I hate you so much for causing me to feel this way. I don't really bother on letting this go on virtual space because you wanted me to keep this stupid feeling to myself cause I can't tell anyone, well technically, you can take it as no one reads my blog and i'm only telling my blog how i feel, sorry if i fucking offend you or disrespect you in this post, or even make it really obvious to whom i am referring to, but i'm a girl and asking a girl to keep all this emotions to herself on what someone did to her on her birthday, well that's bullshit.